Shut the Leaf Up.

I was happy to groove along to the random tunes that pop up on Spotify while I unpack & organize the new apartment, but my dance & clean party was interrupted by the horrid growling of a leaf blower -- from across the street! The cement & brick apartment complex across the way, the one with no plant-life whatever, is being blown - by the loudest lawn & garden implement I've ever witnessed! Seriously. This is some big-ass noise, my friends. We live next to the freeway entrance, and traffic is heavy this afternoon, but that leaf blower has blocked the cars out, too. The sounds of construction going on three blocks over? Can't hear it anymore.

I hate leaf blowers. Hate them. Can someone explain to me why there is a need for such noisy damn tools? What's wrong with a rake or a broom? Somebody told me once that the folks who do landscaping prefer leaf blowers - something to do with how much time it takes to get things done. Which in a way makes sense, but also, doesn't. Because wouldn't you want to be doing things in the slower way if you're getting paid by the hour? I know I would!

Breaking A Bad Habit

Today I'm celebrating a victory, small to some people, but a rather big deal for me, and I'm thrilled.

Let me explain: from the time I had teeth I bit my nails. Yeah, I know, what a disgusting habit! Eww gross! After all those years of gnawing & chewing on my digits, my poor nails were weak and flimsy, and refused to grow. It was pathetic. So, while I was in college, I began wearing acrylic tips, to cover up the nastiness. I found that I didn't bite the fake nails, and so my hands looked better. I've been wearing some form of fake nail ever since, and the nails underneath have suffered for it.

Over the years I've tried half a dozen times to stop, and let my natural nails grow out, but I never made it more than I couple of days before either chewing a nail or deciding my hands looked to icky to leave them bare and putting a new set on. This year I tried again as a New Year's project, but failed quickly. Then, around my birthday, at the end of March, I decided that for once and all, I was going to take those nail tips off and leave them off for good! All the handwashing due to Covid-19 was wreaking havoc on the fakes I was wearing, causing the glue to loosen and a nail fell off every day. (This is what happens when you wear cheap DIY nails, not the quality salon tips.) This was a deciding factor.

On Friday, March 27, I took off the artificial nails, and began growing my natural nails out. I've been using a nail strengthening-cream called Hard as Hoof, and a growth serum top coat. It's now been THIRTY DAYS and I've kept my nails un-faked, and haven't bitten them. My nails are still very short, but most of the broken areas have grown out, and what's there looks & feels healthy and strong.

I'm so proud of myself that I've broken this lifetime bad habit, and am doing something I've wanted to do for years. This is why I'm celebrating.

Book Review: The Haunting of Blackwood House

The Haunting of Blackwood House by Darcy Coates

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Nah, it's not classic literature, but what is? 'The Haunting of Blackwood House' is a plain ole ghost story! Fast-paced, fairly well-written, and with some great twists. If I were hearing this story around a campfire or at a sleepover, I'd be awake the rest of the night.
I did question where the action was taking place- the UK? the US? This was unclear, and caught me off-guard several times.



View all my reviews

Freaking Out.

Yesterday I was out and about, running a few errands, and I ended up being completely freaked out, and the feeling hasn't worn off yet.
I'm a rather lackadaisical shopper. I like to just wander around stores, any kind of store, really, checking things out, seeing what's what, and taking my sweet time. It drives other people crazy; they always want to get in and get out. So I prefer to shop on my own, so I don't have to meet anyone else's timetable. Yesterday I'd started my day out at the drugstore near my house, where I picked up a prescription refill and a couple other things, and then I headed across the bridge to the Michael's at Jantzen Beach. The item I needed to finish a certain project was available there, and nowhere else. After picking it, and a few other things up, I left the craft store. I visited Ulta, Ross, and then I ventured into Target. This is where things got weird.
I'd been in Target for just over an hour, when I realized my phone had rung and I'd missed Brandon's call. I called him back and we chatted for a few minutes. He was at work; we decided that I'd stay there in Jantzen Beach until he was done, and we'd go home together. So I continued strolling around Target, pushing my big red cart, minding my own business. Suddenly, a voice on the intercom said "Target shopper Jonna, please meet your party at Guest Services." This was a surprise to me, as the only person who knew I was there was Brandon, and he was supposed to be working! My first thought was to call him, and ask him where he was. He was at work, and says he knows nothing about this. At the Guest Services desk, the clerk said the man who had asked him to page me had left, heading to Starbucks. But there was not anyone I knew anywhere in that store! After looking around the Starbucks, going back to Guest Services, and calling Brandon again, I was completely freaked out!
By this time it was around 5 p.m., and Brandon said he'd hopefully be done with work by 730, so I continued to wander the store for another hour, just to kill some time. But the fun of the shopping trip had vanished. I felt as if someone (everyone?) was watching me, following me around the store, and I became increasingly paranoid. Apparently not paranoid enough, though.
When I finally left Target, I crossed the parking lot to a small restaurant to wait for Brandon. After sitting down, I realized my wallet was gone! Luckily, I had my cards all in a card case, so I don't have to replace ID and bank cards. Unfortunately, what cash I had left was in the wallet, and is gone. I called Target to see if I'd lost it there (that's the last place I saw it), but nobody turned it in. So I spent the rest of the evening sitting in a mostly empty sandwich shop, waiting for Brandon, bored and annoyed and still freaked out. Bored, because my phone battery died, and I didn't have anything else to do-  I usually have something to read in my bag, but not today! Annoyed, because my phone was dead and while I had a portable charger, the cord didn't fit my phone! Freaked out, because I still do not know who paged me, or why, or where my wallet is!

Music Asks:

Someone on sent me this list several months ago, and, slacker that I am, I'm just now getting around to it! It's actually pretty damn difficult to come up with a song for each of these, but I'm gonna do my best..

1:A song you like with a color in the title: "Blue Spanish Sky" by Chris Isaak

2:A song you like with a number in the title: "1985" by Bowling For Soup

3:A song that reminds you of summertime : " Good Vibrations" by The Beach Boys!

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: "According To You" by Orianthi

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD: "Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet

6:A song that makes you want to dance: "Twisting The Night Away" by Sam Cooke

7:A song to drive to: "Under The Boardwalk" by The Drifters

8:A song about drugs or alcohol: "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw" by Jimmy Buffett

9:A song that makes you happy: "You Gotta Have A Gimmick" from Gypsy

10:A song that makes you sad: "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss

11:A song that you never get tired of : "Daybreak" by Barry Manilow

12:A song from your preteen years: "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" by Vicki Lawrence

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs: "The Warrior" by Scandal featuring Patty Smyth

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding: "True Companion" by Marc Cohn

15:A song that is a cover by another artist: the Tom Jones version of "Kiss" is better than Prince's original.

16:One of your favorite classical songs: "Bach:Prelude from Unaccompanied Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, Bwv 1007" by Yo-Yo Ma

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke: "Suddenly Seymour" from Little Shop of Horrors

18:A song from the year that you were born: " (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay" by Otis Redding

19:A song that makes you think about life : "Angel From Montgomery" by Bonnie Raitt

20:A song that has many meanings to you: "I've Still Got My Health" by Bette Midler

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title: "Cecilia" by Simon & Garfunkel

22:A song that moves you forward: "God Give Me Strength" -- I prefer the version from the film 'Grace of My Heart'

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to: "Love Can Build a Bridge" by the Judds

24:A song by a band you wish were still together: "Message In A Bottle" by the Police

25:A song by an artist no longer living "Faith" by George Michael. I miss him.

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love: (This one doesn't quite fit, since I am already in love) : "Roses and Violets" by Alexander Jean

27:A song that breaks your heart: "You Can't Make Old Friends" by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton.

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love: "How's the World Treating You" by Alison Krauss & James Taylor

29:A song that you remember from your childhood: "Return To Sender" by Elvis

30:A song that reminds you of yourself: "Bird On A Wire" by Leonard Cohen

My reasoning on some of my choices are rather random, but I'm not changing them now!

Challenge Catch-Up

I am so bad at this. I started the month of April off with what was supposed to be a 30-Day Challenge, and promptly forgot all about it. Now it's seven-days later, and I've still only done that first day's challenge. But never fear, faithful minions, I shall catch up, with today's post, which contains seven days: Day 4, 5, 11, 12, 14, 19, and 20.



Day 4: The meaning behind my Tumblr name. My Tumblr name is "BossyBookworm," (which is my profile name on most social media) and the meaning is just what is sounds like--- I am bossy, pushy, dominating, even intimidating, I've been told! And oh, yes, I am a bookworm. Like Scout Finch, I was born reading. Simple as that...

Day 5: Five places I want to visit.  My dream vacay involves visiting great libraries & museums, especially the Smithsonian Institute, The Louvre, The Metropolitan, The British Museum, The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. That's just ONE trip, someday...  Now I want to go to Universal Orlando so I can see the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (and maybe run into Draco Malfoy....) . I'd like to go back to some of the places I visited as a child, like Mount Rushmore, or the Grand Mesa, or the Colorado National Monument. And I want to visit Albuquerque again. I miss New Mexico.

Day 11: What's your favorite quote?  "Fall seven times, stand up eight." - Japanese Proverb

Day 12: Screenshot your desktop: 

Day 14: Provide pictures of 5 celebrity crushes: (so ( I couldn't choose just 5. big deal..)

[caption id="attachment_1976" align="aligncenter" width="241"] Been crushing on Bruce since his Moonlighting days.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1989" align="aligncenter" width="221"] As far as I'm concerned, Vincent is the ONLY Thor. [/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1984" align="aligncenter" width="274"] Dwayne Rocks my world.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1990" align="aligncenter" width="347"] Alexander is the reason I love vampires. And Swedes. [/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1988" align="aligncenter" width="236"] Oh, Captain, my Captain... Sasha is the reason I'm keeping Portland Grimm. [/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1968" align="aligncenter" width="253"] Tom just won 10,000 points for Slytherin! [/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1979" align="alignnone" width="454"] Daniel & Darren: they're Harry-Fucking-Potters!!  [/caption]

Day 19: A list of all the places you've lived:

Born in Custer, South Dakota. Topeka, Kansas until I was 11, then Grand Junction, Colorado until after high school. I lived here in Portland for a year, then went back to Colorado and went back to college; after another year I moved to Nampa, Idaho to go to school there. Two years later I followed my family to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where my younger sister was attending the University of New Mexico; our folks moved down there so she could get in-state tuition, and so did I. New Mexico was home for enough time that I was finally able to finish my BA. After that I moved back up her to the Pacific Northwest, which has been home ever since. Mostly the Portland area, but in Vancouver, as well. That's it.

Day 20: Concerts you've attended:

Barry Manilow was the first, back in 1985. The Monkees, in 86 or 87.  Reba McEntire & Brooks & Dunn.  I had tickets to see Chris Isaak at the Portland Zoo, and was so excited about it, but we didn't get to see the show; my ex got sick, and we had to take him to the ER. And Jimmy Buffett.  (This doesn't count all of the choral and choir concerts & recitals I've attended and performed in over the years!)

 

 

A 30-Day Challenge for April

In a folder on my Google Drive, I have nearly 150 "journal prompts" saved from various sources online. Some of these prompts are years old, some I saved just last week, but until now, I've never actually been prompted by any. I've decided to begin this new month by challenging myself to write each day, following this list:



Day 1: some basic things about myself:  

The basics of me? Curvy, short, bossy, crafty, and smart.  When I decide to do something, I do it to the best of my ability. Of course, I'm also lazy to the bone.

Tomorrow, some likes and dislikes!

 

Toothless Wonder

In my last post, I talked about the horrible tooth infection that was causing me so much pain, and the dentist that didn't help me at all. (Yes, I realize that I posted that WAAAAY back at the beginning of February. What can I say--I'm a slacker.) Well, later that month, I had a seizure while standing in front of a Dollar Tree store waiting for my Uber to arrive, and ended up in the ER. Four stitches in my right eyebrow, a slight concussion, and as the topper, the impact with the sidewalk knocked that bridge so loose that I've had to have it removed. After much searching, I was given an appointment at the OHSU Dental School, and had high hopes of getting things fixed there, but it was not to be. My insurance wouldn't cooperate with all of the other things that needed to be done, and I was getting desperate. So, I returned to the same dental office I'd been to before, fearful of running into Dr. Idiot again. My luck had changed! He is no longer there, and the staff I've dealt with since is truly FABULOUS-- and, I will say, all quite good-looking, as well.

Decisions had to be made about how to fix things, and I chose to have them remove the few upper teeth I had left, and make an upper denture-- all things that my insurance will pay for. This involved quite a bit more pain, since that tooth that had been infected was a bitch to get pulled. I swear, the root on that thing went all the way up my head and wrapped around a time or two. After the doctor finished with that side of my mouth, I went home and was ready to curl up and die for a few days. And here is why I like these guys so much: because we'd had so much trouble & pain with the left side of my mouth, they gave me the option to use laughing gas for the right side, which is apparently not done very much anymore. I jumped at the chance, and ended up sleeping through most of the extractions. While there was still some residual pain, it was much less, because the spot where those shots were given hurt! Two weeks ago I had my first impressions made for the denture, and later this week, I go back for a second one. I was hoping to have teeth in time for Halloween, but Mr Ji (the denture wizard) says that the first or second week of November is more likely. So at least I'll be able to actually eat Thanksgiving dinner, and let me tell you, I will be incredibly thankful for that! I am so sick of soft foods and gumming foods into submission that I could cry. My stomach is calling out for a plate of crunchy tacos with green chile and lots of cheese, or a bunch of spiral-sliced with a side of green beans. Maybe a big thick steak, nice and rare, dipped in A-1. Okay, I have to stop now, I'm starting to drool.  Soup just isn't a substitute for any of this stuff. My toothless days cannot end too soon!

Pain & Pages

It's been a heck of a month for me, filled with pain and stupidity, almost all mine. A tooth that my dental bridge is attached to developed an infection behind it. The front of my mouth was so sore I couldn't eat anything harder than a popsicle. Within a day, the right side of my face was swollen, and I was going through an ice pack every hour. While I waited to get in to see the dentist, I sucked on ice cubes, popsicles, and even tried a teething ring (that didn't help at all). I used OraJel on my gums, and Aspercreme on my face, trying to relieve some of the pain. Tell you what, that OraJel stuff is a godsend! It numbs everything, at least for a while...  I finally got in to see the dentist, Dr Idiot. After taking x rays, all he could tell me was what I already knew. Infection. And that he couldn't do anything to fix it, because the tooth is attached to the bridge, and they'd have to remove the entire bridge. He kept repeating the "Six grand" until I was on the brink of tears.

Until the late 90's I had perfect teeth. Then, one Friday, working at a YMCA Before-and-After-School program, I had a seizure while on the playground with the kids. I fell face forward onto the blacktop, knocking out my top four front teeth. I had to have the stumps pulled, and for several years, wore a little flipper--fake teeth that I could take out. Then I finally was able to get this bridge put in, thanks to the folks at the OHSU Dental School, and until a few years ago, it was perfect, too. Then the front two teeth got chipped, and I look like a hillbilly meth addict. It's gone downhill from there, with pain and some more chips. My insurance won't pay to replace it, because it's considered a cosmetic procedure. So if I want to fix the bridge, the teeth that are causing me pain, any of it, I have to figure out a way to come up with at least $6000. Which means I'm stuck with this damn broken bridge and pain forever--unless some fairy godparent sends me a check.

To add to the indignity, Dr Idiot refused to give me any good pain meds, but prescribed me something called Tramadol, which caused an allergic reaction that scared the hell out of me. Sent me into a huge panic attack, constricted breathing, and itching as well. When I called the office the next day to ask for a different pain med, he told me "if you'd just get over this, you'd be fine"  and "we don't normally prescribe narcotics." At this point I was crying and close to yelling at him, saying I didn't want narcotics, just something that wouldn't kill me, and that I was pretty sure we were no longer in a normal situation. He finally agreed to give me a new med. Of course, I didn't get it until three days later. The antibiotic has helped a lot, and my face is no longer swollen, most of the pain is gone. I've four more days of antibiotics, and then we'll see what happens.



But that couldn't possibly be the only pain the universe inflicted on me, right? I'm convinced that somewhere there's a demon with a voodoo doll of me, and they're randomly poking, prodding & pinching that doll all the fucking time. As soon as my face started feeling better, my sciatica started acting up, causing my left leg some serious pain. Also making me walk like Elmo's friend Mr Noodle, which is just ridiculous.  Standing & walking hurt so bad that I just gave up and spent most the last two weeks in bed. From my spot here among the pillows I've done half a dozen small craft projects (crafting soothes me -- I'll do a post about these phone cases I'm decorating soon), read a ton, watched way too many beauty bloggers on YouTube, and binge watched huge amounts of Netflix. I'm on Season 6 of "Once Upon A Time" and frankly, I'm a bit annoyed, but I will save that for another day as well.

There was more stupidity, and that was mine involving the other side of my face. Just as one side is feeling & looking better, I managed to give myself a shiner. Yep. Yesterday morning I was sitting on the bed, dropped my phone, ad in reaching for it, slid off the bed onto the floor. Landed face first on the edge on a hard container sitting nearby, bruising my right brow bone. Last night when I went to bed it was tender but not bruised; this morning I looked in the mirror and damn! That whole area around my eye is pink and purple. I've never been so glad to have so much makeup at my disposal-- in just a few minutes I covered the entire thing up, and I look fantastic! #iwokeuplikethis



On a different note, I can't post any book reviews because, well, the only stuff I seem to be reading these days is fanfiction. My tablet is full of all sorts of reading material: Oscar Wilde & Dorothy Parker. Bram Stoker & Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, Joe Hill & Owen King. Alton Brown & Julia Childs. Jane Austen & Elizabeth Berg & Maya Angelou & Oprah.  Self-help, mysteries, thrillers, erotica, poetry, memoirs, true crime, classics, biography, fantasy, young adult, and even some odd non-fiction. Yet I keep going back to the fanfiction, like a junkie goes back to the needle. One of my goals for 2018 was to read actual books. Maybe I should try it.

Hip Hip Hooray.

Today I trekked all the way across town and back to see the doctor and get an x-ray so he could send me an email and tell me there's nothing wrong with my hip. I must be imagining this excruciating pain, I guess. If I could move my leg that far, I'd be tempted to kick something.  Wait, I already did that! Yeah, seems as if everytime I walk the last two days, I manage to jam my poor toes into something hard, including a couple of doorframes,   a metal trunk, the freezer, and more than once, Brandon's steel-toed boots! My toes hurt almost as badly as my hip.

The hip has been giving me trouble on and off for the last year-- I sleep on my left side, and apparently, that hip is tired of being at the bottom of the heap. Every few days I'd wake up in the night with it aching, roll over onto the other side, or my back, and things would mostly be okay. Then, on Monday night, I had a seizure sometime during the night, and that just aggravated everything. All day Tuesday I was in major pain-- and not just the usual after a brain party kind of pain! Sure, I had a headache, I'd bitten my tongue, and the muscles in my calves are stretched to the breaking point. But this pain in my hip is something new--something bigger. I spent most of the day in tears, in med, with beneath ice packs. Big fun. And, of course, now Dr Jeff has said the x-ray shows nothing wrong. ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

Oh well. On with my life, I guess.

It's My Life...

My life is not really busy enough to warrant my being such an absentee blogger. I am the Queen of Procrastination, and that does justify it, I guess... Anyway, here I am, with an update.

As most of you know, I share a house with my extended family - my elderly parents, my younger sister and her two children, ages 13 & 23,  2 dogs & a cat. We rent this large house, and have for a few years, and mostly it works. Or it did. Things aren't working so well anymore. My father has dementia, which is getting progressively worse, and he refuses to see a doctor. He's gone from being a friendly, funny, loving man, to an angry, hateful unhappy stranger. He's mad all the time, at everything, especially at the dog, and at me, for some reason. In all of my childhood, I have only one memory of my father yelling at me, and that was when I was about 4-years-old, and ran into the street after a ball. These days he yells at me all the time. I try to remind myself that it isn't him, it's the disease, but some days that's difficult to remember. In January Mom fell at church and broke her hip. She spent two months in the rehab center, and had a mini-stroke while she was there. She's recovering well, but not as fast as she'd like. Not being able to do all the things she's accustomed to doing is frustrating to all of us. The biggest issue right now is money (isn't it always?). While the folks wait for the settlement from the insurance company, bills are falling behind, and we're all worried. Our landlord has informed us that in September our rent will be raised, so we are going to need to move. Mom has been looking at assisted living facilities, but the prices are insane. I've no idea where there rest of us are going to go. I have my disability income, but that's not really enough to pay rent anywhere except a nice cardboard box.

As I type this, I'm becoming very discouraged. I keep telling my mother not to worry about me, but really, I have no idea what I'm going to do. There is no such thing as affordable housing, especially for someone in my situation. I need to be able to move in the next couple of months, and I don't see that happening. It's not as though I need something fancy--all I need is one bedroom, a bathroom, and a small kitchen, somewhere within walking distance of the bus line. I need internet access and decent water pressure, and a closet. Keep dreaming, Jonna.

So what else is going on? Umm...I went six months without a seizure, and then, boy did I have a doozy. Big time. I did change doctors--I am no longer seeing the folks up at OHSU for my neurological needs. I got tired of seeing a different doc every appointment, and that last doctor was just plain rude, so I have switched everything over to Providence. My new doctor is very nice, and seems on the ball.

I had blue hair for a month this summer. That was a mistake...But the blue was better that it's aftermath! In trying to remove the blue, I damaged my hair so much I've had to cut it short, which isn't the problem, not really. The cut is a bit odd, and needs some help, but the color at the moment, oh. my. gawd. My hair is this awful shade of ashy golden blonde, which just looks nasty on someone with my skint one. Looks as if I have scurvy! Blech. Fortunately, I know how to fix it, and will be doing so VERY soon. As soon as my sister arrives with my supplies, as a matter of fact! And then, I'll be a beautiful brunette once again...pictures will follow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Review: The Girl with All the Gifts

"Melanie is a very special girl. Dr Caldwell calls her "our little genius."



Every morning, Melanie waits in her cell to be collected for class. When they come for her, Sergeant keeps his gun pointing at her while two of his people strap her into the wheelchair. She thinks they don't like her. She jokes that she won't bite, but they don't laugh. " (from Goodreads)

What a surprise this novel turned out to be. I originally got 'The Girl with All the Gifts' as an audiobook download from Audible, and after listening to the first chapter, I decided I needed to actually read the book! (I tend to fall asleep during audiobooks, and podcasts, even those I like very much!) This story by M.R. Carey is a bit out of my wheelhouse, I admit. I don't normally read what I'd categorize as "post-apocalyptic fiction, and this is definitely in that category. No spoilers--just read it.

Book Review: Everything I Never Told You

by  Celeste Ng

Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet . . .

So begins the story of this exquisite debut novel, about a Chinese American family living in 1970s small-town Ohio. Lydia is the favorite child of Marilyn and James Lee; their middle daughter, a girl who inherited her mother’s bright blue eyes and her father’s jet-black hair. Her parents are determined that Lydia will fulfill the dreams they were unable to pursue—in Marilyn’s case that her daughter become a doctor rather than a homemaker, in James’s case that Lydia be popular at school, a girl with a busy social life and the center of every party.

When Lydia’s body is found in the local lake, the delicate balancing act that has been keeping the Lee family together tumbles into chaos, forcing them to confront the long-kept secrets that have been slowly pulling them apart. James, consumed by guilt, sets out on a reckless path that may destroy his marriage. Marilyn, devastated and vengeful, is determined to find a responsible party, no matter what the cost. Lydia’s older brother, Nathan, is certain that the neighborhood bad boy Jack is somehow involved. But it’s the youngest of the family—Hannah—who observes far more than anyone realizes and who may be the only one who knows the truth about what happened.

ebook, 304 pages

Published June 26th 2014 by Penguin 

(from Goodreads.com)

I read this in December 2016, and just now realized I had never posted a review for it. It's a heartbreaking tale, beautifully told, that I read in one day. First time I've read a novel in that short a time in a while. This is a debut novel. I cannot wait to read her next.

Book Review: Nightmares and Dreamscsapes

I've been a fan of Stephen King since junior high, and his books contains some of the short stories that makes me want to walk up to him and say "Dude, your mind is so twisted, and I LOVE it!" One of those stories is 'You Know They Got A Hell Of A Band', another is 'Chattery Teeth' and one more favorite in this collection is 'Home Delivery.'

The list of stories in this collection (all published previously):

Dolan's Cadillac
The End of the Whole Mess
Suffer the Little Children
The Night Flier
Popsy
It Grows On You
Chattery Teeth
Dedication
The Moving Finger
Sneakers
You Know They Go a Hell of a Band
Home Delivery
Rainy Season
My Pretty Pony
Sorry, Right Number
The Ten O'Clock People
Crouch End
The House on Maple Street
The Fifth Quarter
The Doctor's Case
Umney's Last Case

These include a couple of ghost stories, a zombie tale, some vampires, some alien-ish things, and a couple of those odd things that only Mr. King can come up with. For example, The Moving Finger, a story about a man and what emerges from his drain one night. Like Chattery Teeth, it's kinda icky and just plain weird. Which is why we all love Stephen King, right?

 

Book Review: Darkly Dreaming Dexter

As per my rule, after I started watching the Showtime series 'Dexter,' I had to read the book the show was based on.  (I did not read these when the series was running.) I am glad I did; the book is dark, creepy, and occasionally wryly funny. Jeff Lindsay's Dexter is a different monster from Showtime's, but both are equally entrancing.

My favorite line from this book:

"I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that I was a good girl and didn't do those things." Gotta love it when a serial killer makes you laugh.

 

Book Review: A Little Life

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

A Little Life was the first book I chose from my 2016 Reading Challenge, a book recommended by a librarian or bookseller, and what a way to start! I am normally able to get through a novel of this length in a couple of days, depending on what else is going on in my life; I began this on January 11, and didn't finish until March 22. It isn't a difficult novel to read in the sense that the prose is complicated or confusing; it was hard for me to get through simply because of the challenging plot. The main character, Jude, is a heartrendingly broken man, and the story of his brokenness was, at times, too much for me.

A Little Life is the story of four college classmates, who move to New York to make their way: JB, an occasionally cruel painter who is trying desperately to make it in the art world; Malcolm, the genius architect; Willem, kind, handsome aspiring actor; and Jude, a brilliant litigator with a tortured past and a disabled body he refuses to acknowledge. As the years go by, each of these men achieves huge success in their fields: Willem becomes a world-famous movie star, JB's paintings of his friends are shown in galleries all over, and Malcolm is designing buildings on every continent, while Jude is the head of his law firm. Their relationships through the years have deepened and grown, and the men themselves go through addictions, sickness, love and death. Through it all, we see Jude become continue to crack along the lines formed by a horribly traumatic childhood. He is haunted by his past, sure that if he tells the people he loves about what happened to him, they will not only judge him, but turn away or worse. His scars define him, and just when he is healing for real, the universe kicks Jude in the teeth once again.  After years of friendship, Jude and Willem have fallen in love, and are happy together. Jude's myriad health problems are finally on the mend, after some major surgery, and their life is good. For the first time in his life, Jude is happy. And then BOOM!  Jude's life is blown to smithereens once again.

"This, he thinks, is his punishment for depending on others: one by one, they will leave him, and he will be alone again, and this time it will be worse because he will remember it had once been better. He has the sense, once again, that his life is moving backward, that it is becoming smaller and smaller, the cement box shrinking around him until he is left with a space so cramped that he must fold himself into a crouch, because if he lies down, the ceiling will lower itself upon him and he will be smothered." (p 804)

While this novel truly broke my heart, it's easy to see why it was recommended by so many, and nominated for so many awards. I'd recommend it gladly, as long as you aren't looking for something to cheer you up.

Eat. Sleep. READ. That's all.

It's a new year (well, duh!), and I'm posting, finally. No apologies or excuses for my absence this time, just a fresh start. And a challenge.

I love a good book challenge, and this year, I'm taking Anne's from The Modern Mrs. Darcy.  The 2016 Reading Challenge is relatively simple, without a huge number of books, which I need right now. And the variety is great!



 

Here are my choices, so far. Nearly all of these are books already on my e-reader or bookshelf, which was a conscious choice on my part. I have an overflowing e-reader, and it would be ridiculous to add more when I can satisfy the requirements! There are three choices that are new-to-my reader books; these are starred! (And my list is in the opposite order than the one above.)

 

A book I've already read at least once:

Cold Comfort Farm  by Stella Gibbons

A book that intimidates me:

Othello by William Shakespeare

A book I own, but have never read:

Van Gogh's Room at Arles by Stanley Elkin

A book I previously abandoned: 

A book that was banned at some point:

(I'm choosing the same book for these two categories)

A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard

A book published before I was born:

A Room With A View by E.M. Forster

A book chosen for me:

I honestly cannot decide on which of the books my wonderful friends Karen & Rob selected for me, so I'm adding both of them to the list!

* A Madness of Angels by Kate Swift (Rob's choice)

* The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb (Karen's choice)

A book I should've read in school:

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

A book recommended by a bookseller:  

*  A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara    I took this recommendation from the employees at Powell's, where this novel was on several folks top-five books of 2015.

A book I've been meaning to read:

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

A book that can be read in a day: 

My Story by Marilyn Monroe

A book published this year:

This category is last, because I don't have anything for it yet. Once 2016 gets going a bit more, I'll fill this one in!

 

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As I read these (and everything else!) I'll post thoughts, reviews, etc. I'll begin reading these as soon as I finish what I'm currently involved in! Join me, won't you? Let's make 2016 a year full of books!

And if anyone has suggestions for books published this year, let me know!

 

 

 

Something's Fishy

Is it possible to miss someone who never really existed? To long for something you never actually had? Well, of course it is, I tell myself--that's what dreams are. Right? Sure. But in this case, I'm not talking about a dream I had. I'm talking about something altogether different.

Before I go any farther, let me just say that sharing this with the entire world was a difficult choice to make. I need to get this out of my head, though, so here we go! A few posts ago I mentioned that I'd ventured back into the world of online dating, and that I'd met someone.

His profile on OkCupid said his name was Justin, a computer engineer in his mid-40's, living in New York City. He had a cute profile picture; not movie star cute, but attractive. (I'm not movie star attractive, and I don't judge a book by its cover!) He liked books, jazz, Asian food, and travel. He messaged me, and we chatted on the site for about a week and then through emails, and texts. After a couple of weeks, he asked if he could call, and I said yes. Talking to him was very nice; he was funny and smart, and I liked him. He did have a strange accent that made understanding him difficult sometimes; it almost sounded as if he had a hearing problem as a child. He told me his accent was from growing up in Germany, where his mother still lives. It didn't sound at all German to me, but I accepted his explanation, because by this time, I was starting to like this guy. Of course, I should have paid more attention to the things that didn't add up. The strange accent. The fact that if I called him I always got voice mail. And the strangest thing, the one that really should have made me know I was being played--he had no online presence. I did a Google search for the name he gave me -- Justin Peacock-- about a week after we started talking, and while I did get some hits, they clearly were not him. There is a writer of that name living in NYC, and he popped up. His books, mystery/thrillers, are pretty good. But that's neither here nor there. I thought this lack of any kind of online presence was odd, given that he claimed to be a freelance computer engineer; in this day and age, how do employer find him if he isn't online? No Facebook profile, either. Something was smelling fishy.

 



 

A month or so went by, and "Justin" called me nearly every night. I enjoyed our talks, and was truly feeling something for this man. I'd set aside my suspicions, except for a little niggling in the back of my mind. And then he told me he loved me. Frankly, I was astonished. We'd never met, and he loves me? Seriously? He seemed sure of himself, so I went with it, and let him declare his love. I wasn't in love--yet--but I was developing very strong feelings. Then he began telling me he had a job coming up that was taking him out of the country. He said he was going to Malaysia for a month to negotiate the contract, then he'd return home before going back for a year. He said he wanted me to come with him for that year. Well, from there it all went down hill. The week before he was supposed to leave on this trip his calls were fewer and fewer. The day he left, he didn't call, and I was angry and hurt; how do you leave the country for a month and not even call the girl you say you love to say goodbye? What the hell was going on? I emailed him, and heard that he'd been running so late he'd nearly missed his flight, and how sorry he was. Yadda yadda yadda. From then on, the excuses flowed like a river. When I told him that my sister suspected he was playing me, he told me he'd planned on coming to Portland on his way back home after his month was up, to surprise me and prove them wrong. Then he said he was having trouble with his bank and couldn't put minutes on his phone, so couldn't call me. I really didn't know what to think at this point, but I was torn. A big part of me wanted him to be real, and to have him show up on my doorstep. But the sensible part of my brain said "Jonna, something is not right here. Find out why!" So I did what I could, and put his picture into Google image search, and hoped against hope that I was actually talking to a man named Justin Peacock. Nope. I got catfished.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the term catfish, let me enlighten you. 

catfish

someone who pretends to be someone they are not online to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances. From the 2010 movie Catfish

CATFISHED : Being deceived over social media as the deceiver professed their romantic feelings to his/her victim, but isn't who they say they are.

Having a fake profile, images and avatar in order to lure people to have romantic feelings. They are then catfished when the victim realises the person they have fallen for via social media is not who they appear to be.

The picture led me to a Google Plus profile of a man in California named Alexander Appleby (his name sounds fake, too, I know). Every picture "Justin" had sent me was from one of Alexander's profiles, either on Google Plus or Facebook. Just to be sure these were not the same people, I called the business phone number listed on the profile, and spoke to Mr Appleby. I'm not sure if I was hoping to hear "Justin's" voice or not, but the voice I spoke too was definitely not the man I'd been talking to. And he was rather upset to find out someone had been using his photos in such a manner.

I sent an angry email to Justin, telling him I knew the truth, and wanted to know who he really was, and why he'd done this. Needless to say, I've heard absolutely nothing since.

What really bothers me is that I miss him. I miss that imaginary person, and that makes me both sad and angry. I swear, if I ever meet the person behind "Justin Peacock", I will bring the wrath of the gods down upon them.

Book Review: Consumed by Aaron Mahnke

Like many other readers, I came to Aaron Mahnke's fiction after listening to his podcast, "Lore," which I love. I must say, I am glad I followed that trail.  Aaron Mahnke's novel does not provide the fear and terror that a reader of Stephen King might expect; it's a different kind of scare. Cozy, like sitting in your favorite armchair with a cup of tea and a great book, comfy and relaxed, and BAM! something smashes into the window, scaring the bejesus out of you! Reading this, you'll end up with tea all over your lap, and your book tossed to the floor in fright. Be careful.

While 'Consumed' was not quite what I expected (honestly, from the title, I'd suspected a vampire novel), it was a worthwhile read, and had me on the edge of my seat. I honestly cannot remember the last time I reacted this way to a horror story. I will definitely be reading more of his fiction. But maybe not while drinking a hot cup of tea...

Random Stuff from My Mind

It's been an entire month since my last post. Shame on me....bad blogger! I really hadn't realized it had been so long--every day I intended to write something. There is a REASON I am the Queen of Procrastination, ya know, not just the Princess! Jeez, you'd think someone who can talk as much as I can, about absolutely nothing, would be much better at keeping this blog up to date, wouldn't you?

Of course, I always think I need to say something meaningful, or at least entertaining, and then I get a bad case of blogger's block! I don't know why I think a blog needs to be deep--I read enough of them to know that isn't true! Some of them make Pauly Shore movies look meaningful! The approach I need to take is this: just write about whatever, and see what happens. Kind of the same thing I do when I talk...

First an update on the last month of my life, in case anyone out there cares:

My bank account, which was hugely overdrawn due to the theft of my debit card, has been mostly fixed. It turned out that my laptop had a huge trojan virus, and a bunch of my info was being taken; I'm actually lucky that they only took such a minor amount of money! I am still trying to convince the bank to refund all of the overdraft fees, but somehow, I doubt that will happen.

Healthwise, things are better. It's been 31 days since my last seizure (YIPPEE!!), and that is fabulous! The thyroid meds seem to have finally kicked in, because I am FINALLY losing weight. (I hesitate to say that, for fear of jinxing it!) And inches, too. Back in April, I took measurements, and re-took them the other day: all of them were down at least 2 inches! It's kinda freaking me out, because I'm not really doing anything differently. Still eating mostly green smoothies (except, of course, on those days when I have to have a big bowl of ice cream!), and coffee, and popcorn. Still sitting around on my ass, reading, surfing the net, and watching Netflix! A part of me wonders what is wrong, to cause this; yes, I am paranoid.

I gave up on growing my nails out, because I couldn't stop from biting them. Frankly, I'd rather wear fakes than have my real ones gnawed down so far they bleed, which is where they end up! My hair still looks terrific, of course.

As for the online dating, well, I met someone. And for now, that is all I am saying about that!



 

I've spent a lot of time watching Netflix this last month. First I binged on True Blood, and now I'm finishing up Dexter. I didn't make it through the last 2 seasons of Dexter when it was on the air, so these are new for me. Frankly, after Season 6, I think I would have quit. Maybe even Season 5. It's not really living up to it's potential; although I do enjoy getting to see Michael Clarke Duncan naked so often! And I am glad that Masuka got his own little storyline (and that we don't have to see him naked!).

Still reading Fanfiction, and I just started reading a book called "Fic: How Fanfiction is Taking Over the World"  Anne Jamison, which is turning out to be very interesting. Can't wait to review it for ya'll!

A now, my little rant for the day:

I surprised myself today when I discovered an article stating that Barry Manilow got married back in April 2015, to his longtime producer and boyfriend! How did I miss this? Being the Fanilow that I am, how did this tidbit (not the fact that he's gay-- as if that's a big shock-but the marriage) escape my notice? Honestly. I am a bit disappointed in Barry after reading several articles about this very private wedding (where Suzanne Somers was reportedly his 'best man' --and that bothers me, too!), simply because he still has not actually come out. No paperwork has been filed, and he has not made any statements. Apparently, Barry is too worried about his career, worried that his fans won't understand if he admits he's gay. To which I say "Oh, PUH-LEEZ! Give me a friggin' break!" I've been a fan since I was in elementary school, and I realized in middle school that he was probably gay (I'm not sure I even really knew what that meant at the time.), but it certainly doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that someone who sings about love so passionately doesn't have the courage to put his love first. Especially now, when his career is rock solid. I ask you, Barry, "What would Tony do if this were about Lola?"

 

These Days

These days of summer, the month of June, has been spectacularly obnoxious for me. Here's why:

Near the beginning of the month, my debit card was stolen, and a number of charges were made online. The charges themselves were not very big, but my bank has added HUGE overdraft fees, leaving me nearly $900 overdrawn at the end of the month. I don't even get nine hundred dollars in SSI/SSD each month!! We are working to fix this, but it seems as if the bank just doesn't care. I hate it, and am not happy. And I'm broke, probably forever, now.

Add to the money problems the health stuff. The last year has been bad, seizure-wise, and we cannot seem to figure out why. OHSU, where I am a patient at the Epilepsy clinic, assigned me to a new doctor last Autumn, and I've seen her once. She keeps rescheduling my appointments. So I'm asking my GP, Dr Jeff, for a referral to the Providence Neurology & Epilepsy Clinic. I am done being shuttled around. That appointment, with Dr Jeff, is tomorrow. I get my thyroid level checked, too, after being on the med for over a year. Let's hope things are looking up!

Some things are looking up, I can admit that. I've lost some weight in the last year, but not nearly what I need to lose. I am a short woman, with small bones, and weighing this much can't be good for me. Now, I watched a TED Talk this week, and based on their info, even at this weight, I'm in the healthier group. See, I do 3 of the 4 things it takes to make you the healthy person: I eat plenty of fruits & veggies, I don't smoke, and drink moderately. I don't get enough exercise, but I'm working on it. Makes me feel better about myself, even if my clothes are a bigger size!

Seriously, 75% of what I eat these days is some sort of green smoothie. My NutriBullet gets more use than any other appliance I own, except my laptop! I am feeling better, and I know I am healthier. There are days when something happens to change that; last week I had a fairly bad seizure, and managed to injure myself in some strange places. How I got what looks like a rug burn/bruise underneath my boob, I have no idea, but it hurts like a bitch! Wearing a bra has been out of the question for the last week. (Oh, and the heat here, that's only made things worse. I miss winter.) I'm finally not sore everywhere else, and feeling like a human being again. It's amazing. Somedays I think my body hates me. Somedays I hate it.

These days, I only want to stop feeling as if I crawled out from under a rock. I looked like I should live under one for a while, but now I'm looking better, thank Merlin. I swear, I looked in the mirror last Saturday, and thought I'd been dead for a couple of days! Ick. Only my hair looked decent; I colored it the week before, and it's very nifty. I'll post some pics in the next couple of days--check Instagram!

These days, I am also having some interesting things going on; I'm back on the online dating scene, because I am apparently crazy (I will write about this later), and have no idea what I'm doing. I am trying to grow my nails out again, and not biting them is torture! Trying to answer Oprah's "20 Questions Every Woman Should Answer." I have no good answers. I never do.

 

Seven Lists For the Seventh

Today is the 7th of June. Not that this date has any big significance for me, at least none that I remember right now--if I'm forgetting something important, let me know, and forgive me, because if you are my friend, you know how badly my brain holds information. And that brain drain is getting worse, since my seizures aren't as well controlled as they should be lately. Not making my life a lot of fun, ya know? Anyway, that was totally not my point.  My point has to do with a thing someone sent me on Twitter, and asked me to write a blog post about. Now, I don't remember who sent it, because I've had this image saved on my tablet for almost a year! (Bad Jonna!) Today I stumbled across it, and decided since it asks for 7 of each thing, and it's the 7th, I'd do it. So here I go, trying to answer these questions, and make as much sense as possible!

7 everyday things I couldn't live without:  

1-lip balm of some sort   2-something to write with and in  3-a comfy armchair  4--reading material

5 -caffeine  6-I'd be very unhappy without the internet (but could likely live without it as long as I had #'s 2 & 4)   7-sleep

7 of my favorite songs:

(in no particular order, just a few I've been listening to a lot lately)

1-'Ca Plane Pour Moi' by Plastic Bertrand (a song I picked up from Craig Ferguson!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v98HEQvtpgo

2-'Come Together' as recorded by Robin Williams & Bobby McFerrin

this just makes me feel totally free....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9_4itRSEvI

3-'How's the World Treating You' by Alison Kraus & James Taylor (two of my favorite artists, singing a country classic--their voices together are just too beautiful!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoxhT8mKCx0

4-'Sacred Emotion' by Donny Osmond (I don't care what you say, the man can sing, and I LOVE this song.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLKzwb2JvLo

5-'Travelin' Soldier' by The Dixie Chicks (breaks my heart every time...and this fan made video is awesome.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXw3XhlmTcs

6-'I'm Beautiful' by Bette Midler (because I'm Beautiful, dammit!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWsc2nuUg-s

7-'Beautiful World' by Colin Hay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe3RqgnXaT4

 

7 pastimes I never tire of doing:

1. Reading


2. Looking at stupid things on Pinterest, Tumblr & YouTube


3. Learning


4. Laughing


5. Talking to friends & family


6. wandering around stores


7. This.

7 treats I could eat every day:

1. Popcorn


2. smoothies


3. fruit of almost any kind


4. sweet potato fries


5. chai tea latte (iced)


6. snickerdoodles


7. beef fajitas

 

7 places I want to visit:

1. New York City


2. London


3. Paris


4. Mexico


5. Japan


6. Hawaii


7. The Smithsonian Museum & Library of Congress in Washington DC (my big dream vacay!)

 

Planet of the Ants

I hate having bugs in my house. Except spiders. Spiders, I don't mind. Without spiders, we'd be over-run by other creepy crawly things, and I cannot have that. Back in Colorado, my bedroom was in the basement, and every spring & summer, I'd get crickets in my room. I'd spend hours trying to track them down with my spray can of Raid, until I'd finally have silence, and could sleep. I'm sure I ingested enough bug killer between the ages of 11 and 17 to explain nearly all of my health problems these days! If those dumb crickets had stayed quiet, they'd have been safe; I don't go after bugs I can't see or hear! After all those years of Raid, I started trying to use greener methods of insect control, and some of them even worked! The vinegar trap for fruit flies was a great success-- an inch or two of apple cider vinegar in the bottom of a jar, then cover the top with plastic wrap and poke a few holes, They are attracted to the sweet smell, but drown in the vinegar! And the beer trap worked great for catching slugs. The problem has been ants.

We had ants in our old house, and could never get rid of them, and we have them here. Just little black sugar ants, nothing dangerous, but highly annoying, and fucking EVERYWHERE! Not just the kitchen, and dining areas. I found them in my bathroom, and they've been swarming in my bedroom this week. The first time they showed up, I tried a few green solutions I found online. I sprayed a solution of white vinegar around. Didn't do anything but make my room smell like a pickle. I sprinkled coffee grounds around where they come in ( apparently ants don't like coffee?); not a thing happened, but at least that smelled better. The coffee grounds did keep the ants and other bugs off the plants in the garden when we tried it there, it just didn't work in the house. In one area I lay down a line of black and red pepper, because it was supposed to stop those ants in their tracks! Nope. I just ended up with a dusty floor. The only thing I haven't tried that all the green sites recommend is borax, and peppermint. I didn't have either of those on hand. Today I swept and cleaned, dusted and then sprayed all the nooks and crannies of my room with good old Raid Ant Spray. For a couple of hours, my room smelled like a chemical bomb, and my head hurt like a bitch. But for now anyway, all the ants are gone. I plan on buying some peppermint essential oil and using it -or maybe the peppermint castile soap--maybe both--to spray around the room and bathroom. I don't want to use borax, because we do have pets, and that stuff will get on their feet and hurt them! One site I saw said that windex is a great ant killer, so maybe I'll try that. I can clean my windows at the same time!

 

 

Never Judge A Book By Its Movie

 

I've written before about some of my favorite books that have become great movies, in a post I called Movies That Move Me.  Today I'm going to talk about the same thing, sort of. Ya see, I'm a little compulsive. If I see a movie, and discover it was based on a book, I HAVE to read that book. This has, on occasion, been an issue, finding obscure works. Thank goodness I live in the same city as Powell's! This works both ways, however--I have to see movies based on books I've read. And this is not always as fun, since film-makers often destroy my favorite works. Today I'm posting about a few movies that were as good as their books. I'll talk about some of those that weren't another time. Oh, by the way, I am leaving the works of Stephen King out of this list completely; I feel he deserves a list all his own. Here we go!

The Good  (in no particular order)

Cold Comfort Farm 

  The novel, by Stella Gibbons, was published in 1932. It parodies the romantic novels   of the time, and is truly one of the funnier things I've read. Young Flora Poste,  recently orphaned, must choose which of her family members to live with; she  goes to stay with the Starkadders at Cold Comfort Farm, after being told they  must "atone for the wrongs done to her father." She heads to Sussex, and begins  to straighten out the mess on the farm immediately, rearranging lives, and  teaching modern lessons. She even gets Great Aunt Ada (who "saw something nasty in the woodshed") to come out of her room, which she hasn't done in decades. With the aid of her friend Mary back in London, and 'The Higher Common Sense', which is her handbook, Flora solves everyone's problems.

The film, made by the BBC in 1995, stars Kate Beckinsale, Joanna Lumley, Rufus Sewell, Ian McKellen, and Stephen Fry. It is a faithful rendition of the book, and quite well-made, as well. The casting is excellent, and, as in most BBC films, the costumes are perfect. Of course, it's worth a watch just to see Rufus Sewell, as Seth Starkadder; he's quite a hunk, and shirtless through a good deal of the film!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st5gmzmDFrw

I will grant that not everyone will understand why Cold Comfort Farm is funny, but even if you don't know the style being parodied, it is still worth reading and watching.

 

The Importance of Being Earnest

 

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”

“Indeed, no woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.”

“Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

What can I say about The Importance of Being Earnest? Oscar Wilde's farce about mistaken identities, secret romances, and the complications of love, family and society is still as amusing as when it was first published in 1895. Gwendolyn and Cecily are in love with the same (imaginary) man, Ernest. Jack has been wooing Gwendolyn using the name Ernest; Algernon has also courted Jack's ward, Cecily, using the same name. When all four end up at Jack's country home one weekend, the trouble begins, as both "Ernests" must win back his beloved. Only the arrival of Lady Bracknell, Gwendolyn's fierce mother (and Algy's aunt), can bring the chaos to a suitable ending.

I read this first in ninth grade, and later performed parts of it in theatre classes. (I was an awesome Lady Bracknell!) Oscar Wilde rocks, and that is all.

There have been several film versions, but I prefer the 2002 version starring Colin Firth as Jack, Rupert Everett as Algy, Reese Witherspoon as Cecily , Frances O'Connor as Gwendolyn and Dame Judi Dench as Lady Bracknell. This was the third time Judi Dench had played Lady Bracknell --she was cast in a BBC radio version in 1994, and a National Theatre revival in 1982.

Here's a clip--Jack/Ernest, being interviewed by Lady Bracknell after he has asked to marry Gwendolyn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW4wR7-iOMg

 

 

 

 

Book Review: Gangsterland by Tod Goldberg

Sal Cupertine is a legendary hit man for the Chicago Mafia, known for his ability to get in and out of a crime without a trace. Until now, that is. His first-ever mistake -Sal kills three "Donnie Brascos"-undercover FBI agents, and a CI. He fears for his own life after this, and calls his cousin Ronnie for help, ending up in a situation he'd never imagined.  After a few nights in the back of a refidgerated meat truck, Sal ends up in Las Vegas, where, a few surgeries and some intensive training later, and Sal Cupertine becomes Rabbi David Cohen. Leading a growing congregation in Las Vegas, overseeing the population and the temple and the new cemetery, Rabbi Cohen, surprises even himself as he spouts quotes from the Torah,  Old Testament, or Oldies Radio.  Yet, as it turns out, the Mafia isn't quite done with him yet. Soon the new cemetery is being used as both a money and body-laundering scheme for the Chicago family. And that rogue FBI agent on his trail, seeking vengeance for the murder of his three fellow agents, isn't going to let Sal fade so easily.
Gangsterland is a wickedly dark and funny novel. I'm not normally one for gangster stories (I've never seen the Godfather, or Scarface, or any of those iconic films, although I have watched a couple of seasons of The Sopranos, and I'm a fool for Law & Order), but I made an exception here. I am a big fan of the podcast Literary Disco, which Tod Goldberg is part of, and I'd read some of his short stories, and quite enjoyed them. So I had to read this, and I am glad I did. One night, that's all it took, and I laughed myself silly half the time! This is a great book, and I am saying now: read it!! The twisted idea of turning a hit man into a Rabbi is so brilliant, and works so well. Goldberg has a knack for language, and his characters are fully fleshed out, even the minor ones. I can't wait to read his other novels.

List It Or Lose It

I like making lists, but if you've read many of these posts, you've probably noticed that. Lists keep me sane, or at close to it as I come. I make lists of things I need to do, things I want to do, things to buy, things to sell, and all sorts of other lists. I have entire journals filled of lists: what I'd like my dream home to look like, what I'd like my dream man to be like (that's actually the most difficult list), lists of items I'd have in my dream wardrobe, the songs I'd record if I made a cover album, favorite books & movies & songs, things I love, things I hate, things I cannot live without, and things I'd be happy to never see again. Sometimes at night when I can't sleep and my brain just won't shut up, I lie in the dark and give myself a topic to make a list. For example, bands from the 1970's, going from A to Z, or a list of 25 female characters I really disliked. I usually go in alphabetical order on these lists at night, simply because it helps me keep things in order, and I seldom get all the way to Z before falling asleep.This is how obsessive I get about lists: when I was taking the medication Topamax, my neurologist would give me a quiz each visit to test how it was affecting my verbal skills. He'd give me a letter, and in 60 seconds I had to come up with as many words (no proper nouns, nothing that I'd just said with a modifier --no green then greener) beginning with that letter as I could. I usually did very well on this test, not as well as I thought I should, but I stayed in the top percentile until I'd been on Topamax for several years, and then I started having real trouble finding words. But the lists--after each visit, I would spend my ride home on the bus making a list of words; I'd have always asked the doctor for the list he wrote down as I said them during the test, and then I went from there, until I'd have pages of my journal or dayplanner filled with words. It annoyed me so that I only got a minute to do the first list, and I knew I could do better. When I told my doctor about this, he asked me two questions: "does it make you feel better?" and "how many words do you come up with?" Since I was worried he'd tell me this was a sign I was crazy, I was happy to tell him that yes, it did, and for one letter I came up with nearly 250 words before the bus got to my stop.

My lists are almost always on paper; I've tried the list-making apps on my phone and tablet, and it just isn't the same. I use one occasionally for my grocery list, because it's easier, and I don't lose it. But for my other lists, those that are for my soul, I need the feel of a pen on paper, or hands on a keyboard. I think this is one of the reasons I like sites like Pinterest so much--it's essentially a bunch of lists of stuff people like! I can spend hours just reorganizing my own pins, just getting lost in nothing... Wow.

So. There's a site called listography.com and I love it. Reading other people's lists is fun, and I just signed up, so now I'll be posting my own! https://listography.com/readbetweenthewhines?m=6404158689 That's me. And I have a list posted, so go and read!

Adventures in Healthcare: or where is George Clooney when I visit the ER?

Let me just say this first: I hate having to go to the Emergency Room. In the past, when I had no insurance, and would have a seizure somewhere, the paramedics would show up, and about half of the time, even though I was fine, and steadfastly refused to be taken to the ER, they'd end up taking me anyway. Usually this was because I'd had a seizure in a public place,and their insurance insisted I be seen. Of course, for some reason, their insurance always resisted paying that hugely expensive bill: both for the ride and for sitting around in the ER. I'm epileptic; I know what to do after a seizure, and unless I've fallen and injured myself badly, the ER docs really can't do much for me, other than tell me what I already know. They never even gave me any good drugs for the headaches or muscle aches that usually follow a seizure. Getting charged $50 for a Tylenol that doesn't help my headache at all just pisses me off; if they'd just let me have my purse, I could take my own headache meds, and not have to get charged for them! But every time, it was the same thing--I laid on a cold table for hours, waiting for some doctor to tell me "You had a seizure." At which point I'd say "Well, yeah, duh. I'm epileptic. I told the paramedics that I knew what happened. I'm fine, can I go home now?" And then i'd get to leave. A month later I'd get a $400 bill for the ambulance ride, and another $1000 one for the ER (sometimes more, depending on how determined the doctor had been to see how I was.). I've had to threaten to take them to court twice to make the "Public places" pay these bills; since I had refused to go and they took me anyway, it's been determined I shouldn't have had to pay. This is not really why I dislike Emergency rooms, not the money part, anyway. Most of my experiences in them have consisted of being told to wait, and then have nothing done. I realize that there really isn't that much that can be done after a grand mal seizure--there isn't much going on on the surface to fix. Afterwards I'm mostly tired, with a headache, and by the next day, some severe body aches. All I really need or want is my bed, a couple of Imitrex (to kill the headache), and sleep. And sometimes sleep doesn't even happen. It drives my mother crazy--I get up after a seizure and come out to the kitchen for a glass of water, or something to eat, or just to talk. She (and dad) think I should be in bed, sound asleep. For some reason, my body doesn't want to do that anymore.

When I was 15-years-old, and first started having seizures, I'd have a killer headache after every single one, and would sometimes sleep 48 hours after. That when on for at least ten years, I'd say; I don't really remember when the headaches stopped being quite so bad after every one, but I do know that by the time I finished college, I was able to get up and do things within a few hours after a seizure. These days, the headaches are back, but not the sleepiness.

I ended up in the Emergency Room yesterday. I was sitting here, watching Downton Abbey online, drinking my tea, and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. It felt as if something was stuck in my throat--like when you swallow a pill, but it doesn't quite go down all the way. Of course, then this pain moved down from my throat to right behind my sternum, and then radiated out through my ribs, diaphragm and back. I called my sister, and she came down to check on me, and decided that I needed to go to the ER. Mom drove me over to Providence Milwaukie, and they saw me right away. They took an EKG, did some blood work, and chest x-rays. The doctor then gave me a few baby aspirin, and a big ole shot of an anti-inflammatory. That seemed to do the trick, because within a few minutes, I was able to breathe better, and the pain eased up.

While I hated sitting there not knowing what was wrong, and stressing everyone out, I will say that this ER was better than the last few I've been to. I was in and out in under two hours, and everyone was so nice! It was fast, clean, and competent. If only George Clooney had been there.....

[caption id="attachment_1367" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Actually, any one of these three doctors would have made my visit perfect. Eric LaSalle, George Clooney or Noah Wyle.[/caption]

They said everything looked normal, and sent me home with a prescription for Ibuprofen, and told me to follow up with my doctor. I'm seeing him on Friday. I'm sure he's thrilled--I was there last week, too. Poor guy; he gets to listen to me whine, and tell me nothing is really wrong with me. And then I'll say something totally embarrassing again, I'm sure, and at least he'll have something to laugh about over drinks later that day. I will never live down commenting on his awesome purple pants. It wasn't the pants that I embarrassed myself about. I said, and I quote "I've never seen a...well, I'm assuming you're a straight man,  wear purple pants." At this point I realized what I'd said, and turned  bright pink. He just grinned at me, and laughed.  Last week I tried to apologize, and he smiled at me, and said "If I'd known you were coming today, I'd have worn the purple pants!" He really was rocking those pants. I feel safe saving this here, because I'm fairly sure he's never going to read my blog, but Dr Jeff is HOT. And the pants worked for him.

The Real World: Portland

The last month has been nothing but drama at my house. If I wanted this much drama in my life, I'd have stayed in the theater--Shakespeare's got a much better vocabulary than we do around here.  His insults are better, too.  Half of my family seems to be convinced that we're the cast of some over-the-top reality television show, including swearing-screaming-crying-tantrums,  death threats, drunken parties, random sex,  mood swings and come close to fist fights. Our wardrobes are nothing like the Real Housewives (we're much better dressed than Honey Boo-Boo), but I'm betting our theatrics are equal to theirs any day.  
Yes, I love my family. And right now, I am actually pretty happy living with them, even with all of this going on. Things are better in this house, mostly, and I don't feel the need to escape like I did a few months ago. I do, occasionally feel a strong urge to duct tape one or two family members to a chair in the garage, and gag them so I won't have to listen to them anymore!

Families are always messed up, I guess. Nobody is perfect, or even close. I'd be miserable if I had to be part of some sitcom family. The Brady Bunch always annoyed the hell out of me, all so damn perky & blonde! Only Jan was a normal person, and they were awful to her! The Cleavers were even weirder as far as I'm concerned. I'd probably be happy with the Addams Family: all the black clothes and weirdness would make me feel right at home.

There are other things going on in my life. I discovered that the pain in my arm is tendonitis, which will get better, apparently. I managed to make a total fool of myself in front of Dr Jeff, and will be embarrassed about it for a while. I had a birthday. It sucked. The anniversary of Michele's passing came. That sucked even more. (I've a post half ready about that...) I was reminded that so many men are jerks, no matter their age, and that really sucked. And, I read a couple of books that I haven't reviewed yet.

I am having lots of computer issues, which is why I haven't posted sooner. In the next week I will hopefully have some of those issues fixed, and will be able to write a bunch at ya'll. I know you're waiting for it!  I'll be back.

 

Book Review: The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins

"Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning. Every day she rattles down the track, flashes past a stretch of cozy suburban homes, and stops at the signal that allows her to daily watch the same couple breakfasting on their deck. She’s even started to feel like she knows them. “Jess and Jason,” she calls them. Their life—as she sees it—is perfect. Not unlike the life she recently lost.

And then she sees something shocking. It’s only a minute until the train moves on, but it’s enough. Now everything’s changed. Unable to keep it to herself, Rachel offers what she knows to the police, and becomes inextricably entwined in what happens next, as well as in the lives of everyone involved. Has she done more harm than good?

A compulsively readable, emotionally immersive, Hitchcockian thriller that draws comparisons to Gone Girl, The Silent Wife, or Before I Go to Sleep, this is an electrifying debut embraced by readers across markets and categories." 



That's the summation from Goodreads, and of course, after reading that, I had to read this book. Hitchcockian is right--Paula Hawkins debut novel is worth the time. It was not at all what I'd expected, and that alone kept me reading. At the halfway mark I found myself saying "This book has me all screwed up! And I cannot put it down!" I had to find out why, and who. Now, be warned: there are a couple of spoilers in this review, although I do not give the end away (I'm not that kind of person!).

Told primarily by Rachel, who isn't always a reliable narrator, we see how these people's lives are intertwined. Rachel may be crazy, you think. The others who tell their sides (Anna and Megan) may be as well. A bit of the literary criticism that was pounded into my head in college popped up as I read this, so I will share it with you, even though I normally just read a story for the story. Rachel rides the train every day, back & forth to a job she no longer has, looking out the window at the house she lived in with her ex-husband, who now lives there with his new wife & baby. She's got a drinking problem, and has become a bit obsessed with the couple who live in the house a few doors down from her old house--the couple she calls Jess & Jason. Rachel is, in the beginning of the book, on a journey to nowhere. As her story unfolds, and she gets involved in things outside the train windows, we see that she is finally moving forward. The train is a symbol of her journey.

This novel has been compared to Gone Girl, and a couple of other things I've not read, but the comparison to Hitchcock is spot on. Read it. You'll like it.

Oh, and another thing--I had not figured out who or why by the time it was revealed, and that, as you may know is always a plus in any mystery for me!

Murder Porn

I've been sucked into an endless marathon of murder porn. I tried watching documentaries about historical events, or literary figures, or food, but my brain wants crime. The rhyme & reason behind the full English breakfast is nowhere near as interesting as the sordid details of the BTK Killer case, or all of Henry Lee Lucas' false confessions.



I've always been fascinated by crime, and criminals, whether in detective stories, films, or on television, and I even considered studying criminal psychology. (There is too much math involved in any kind of psych degree for me, so I stuck with books.) I've read my fair share of true crime books, and am a big fan of Ann Rule. These days, it's documentaries, though. I stumbled across the website DocumentaryAddict.com a few months ago, and have been going back ever since. They have a wide variety of programs, ranging from episodes of crime television shows, to award-winning documentaries. Back when I had a television, I watched several of these crime programs on a semi-regular basis, along with shows like 'Law & Order: CI', 'Bones', and 'Rizzoli & Isles'. (These days, I do everything online.) However, I can't remember ever seeing an episode of any fictional show that got under my skin the way some of these real life programs have.

 

I've learned about an 11-year-old girl in England who murdered two little boys; she was convicted, but they didn't know where to send her! So she spent 12 years in a state school, getting therapy & an education, then did 12 more years in a women's prison. She was released, and has led a normal, happy life since then, apparently. I share a house with an eleven-year-old, and even at his worst, I cannot imagine him killing anyone! Then, there was the man who lived in my home town, Grand Junction, Colorado. He called 911, saying his wife and daughter were missing, and that there was blood in the master bedroom; he claimed that this was how he found things when he returned home from work. After nearly a year of investigation, the Mesa County Sheriff's Department (which includes some folks I know!) found this poor woman's body buried in the landfill. Her husband had shot her in the head while she slept, then put her in the trash compactor at the plant he managed; they never found the little girl. It was heartbreaking, and at the same time, made me very proud of my home town; dozens of people gave their time to comb the desert and foothills around Grand Junction, looking for them, and spent weeks sifting through garbage, all for people they didn't even know. There are stories of women who kill for a baby, literally. Stories of truly evil mothers-in-law, who go after their daughters-in-law with guns, knives, and in  one case, run her down with the car! (I want to take this moment to say that my former mother-in-law is not in this category. No way, no how.)  And these aren't even the BIG serial killer cases! These are just "normal" people. Well, not the girl from England. Not any of them, really.

One of the first things I watched was about some great unsolved cases in history. Among them were Jimmy Hoffa, the Black Dahlia, JonBenet Ramsey, and Adam Walsh. Watching the Adam Walsh story reminded me of what an amazing thing John Walsh has done; he has taken a tragedy, something that easily could have destroyed his family, and turned it into something good. He & his wife were instrumental in getting the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children  going, as well as getting the Child Protection and Safety Act passed. His work on America's Most Wanted led to the capture of over a thousand criminals. It's said that the show has captured more criminals than it has aired episodes! John Walsh is a hero.