Pain & Pages

It's been a heck of a month for me, filled with pain and stupidity, almost all mine. A tooth that my dental bridge is attached to developed an infection behind it. The front of my mouth was so sore I couldn't eat anything harder than a popsicle. Within a day, the right side of my face was swollen, and I was going through an ice pack every hour. While I waited to get in to see the dentist, I sucked on ice cubes, popsicles, and even tried a teething ring (that didn't help at all). I used OraJel on my gums, and Aspercreme on my face, trying to relieve some of the pain. Tell you what, that OraJel stuff is a godsend! It numbs everything, at least for a while...  I finally got in to see the dentist, Dr Idiot. After taking x rays, all he could tell me was what I already knew. Infection. And that he couldn't do anything to fix it, because the tooth is attached to the bridge, and they'd have to remove the entire bridge. He kept repeating the "Six grand" until I was on the brink of tears.

Until the late 90's I had perfect teeth. Then, one Friday, working at a YMCA Before-and-After-School program, I had a seizure while on the playground with the kids. I fell face forward onto the blacktop, knocking out my top four front teeth. I had to have the stumps pulled, and for several years, wore a little flipper--fake teeth that I could take out. Then I finally was able to get this bridge put in, thanks to the folks at the OHSU Dental School, and until a few years ago, it was perfect, too. Then the front two teeth got chipped, and I look like a hillbilly meth addict. It's gone downhill from there, with pain and some more chips. My insurance won't pay to replace it, because it's considered a cosmetic procedure. So if I want to fix the bridge, the teeth that are causing me pain, any of it, I have to figure out a way to come up with at least $6000. Which means I'm stuck with this damn broken bridge and pain forever--unless some fairy godparent sends me a check.

To add to the indignity, Dr Idiot refused to give me any good pain meds, but prescribed me something called Tramadol, which caused an allergic reaction that scared the hell out of me. Sent me into a huge panic attack, constricted breathing, and itching as well. When I called the office the next day to ask for a different pain med, he told me "if you'd just get over this, you'd be fine"  and "we don't normally prescribe narcotics." At this point I was crying and close to yelling at him, saying I didn't want narcotics, just something that wouldn't kill me, and that I was pretty sure we were no longer in a normal situation. He finally agreed to give me a new med. Of course, I didn't get it until three days later. The antibiotic has helped a lot, and my face is no longer swollen, most of the pain is gone. I've four more days of antibiotics, and then we'll see what happens.



But that couldn't possibly be the only pain the universe inflicted on me, right? I'm convinced that somewhere there's a demon with a voodoo doll of me, and they're randomly poking, prodding & pinching that doll all the fucking time. As soon as my face started feeling better, my sciatica started acting up, causing my left leg some serious pain. Also making me walk like Elmo's friend Mr Noodle, which is just ridiculous.  Standing & walking hurt so bad that I just gave up and spent most the last two weeks in bed. From my spot here among the pillows I've done half a dozen small craft projects (crafting soothes me -- I'll do a post about these phone cases I'm decorating soon), read a ton, watched way too many beauty bloggers on YouTube, and binge watched huge amounts of Netflix. I'm on Season 6 of "Once Upon A Time" and frankly, I'm a bit annoyed, but I will save that for another day as well.

There was more stupidity, and that was mine involving the other side of my face. Just as one side is feeling & looking better, I managed to give myself a shiner. Yep. Yesterday morning I was sitting on the bed, dropped my phone, ad in reaching for it, slid off the bed onto the floor. Landed face first on the edge on a hard container sitting nearby, bruising my right brow bone. Last night when I went to bed it was tender but not bruised; this morning I looked in the mirror and damn! That whole area around my eye is pink and purple. I've never been so glad to have so much makeup at my disposal-- in just a few minutes I covered the entire thing up, and I look fantastic! #iwokeuplikethis



On a different note, I can't post any book reviews because, well, the only stuff I seem to be reading these days is fanfiction. My tablet is full of all sorts of reading material: Oscar Wilde & Dorothy Parker. Bram Stoker & Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, Joe Hill & Owen King. Alton Brown & Julia Childs. Jane Austen & Elizabeth Berg & Maya Angelou & Oprah.  Self-help, mysteries, thrillers, erotica, poetry, memoirs, true crime, classics, biography, fantasy, young adult, and even some odd non-fiction. Yet I keep going back to the fanfiction, like a junkie goes back to the needle. One of my goals for 2018 was to read actual books. Maybe I should try it.

Hip Hip Hooray.

Today I trekked all the way across town and back to see the doctor and get an x-ray so he could send me an email and tell me there's nothing wrong with my hip. I must be imagining this excruciating pain, I guess. If I could move my leg that far, I'd be tempted to kick something.  Wait, I already did that! Yeah, seems as if everytime I walk the last two days, I manage to jam my poor toes into something hard, including a couple of doorframes,   a metal trunk, the freezer, and more than once, Brandon's steel-toed boots! My toes hurt almost as badly as my hip.

The hip has been giving me trouble on and off for the last year-- I sleep on my left side, and apparently, that hip is tired of being at the bottom of the heap. Every few days I'd wake up in the night with it aching, roll over onto the other side, or my back, and things would mostly be okay. Then, on Monday night, I had a seizure sometime during the night, and that just aggravated everything. All day Tuesday I was in major pain-- and not just the usual after a brain party kind of pain! Sure, I had a headache, I'd bitten my tongue, and the muscles in my calves are stretched to the breaking point. But this pain in my hip is something new--something bigger. I spent most of the day in tears, in med, with beneath ice packs. Big fun. And, of course, now Dr Jeff has said the x-ray shows nothing wrong. ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

Oh well. On with my life, I guess.

There's A Word for That?

Migraineur:

mi·grain·eur

mēgrəˈnər,ˌmīgrā-/

noun

 someone who suffers from migraine headaches.

Earlier this week, I was doing some research online, trying to see if there was a connection between the two glasses of pseudo-Crystal Light I'd been having now that the weather is warming up and the massive migraines I'd been having, when I learned some nifty things. Such as the word migraineur. Makes sense that there's a word for people like me, but it had never occurred to me.

Reading about triggers was rather enlightening as well. I wasn't all that surprised to learn that artificial sweeteners are a big migraine trigger, since they cause all sorts of problems. I try to avoid them, preferring natural sugar, really I do. But for some reason, every summer, I go through this diet drink frenzy where I consume Crystal Light, or the fake store brand equivalent, in all it's many flavors. No more of that for me. I'd rather be fat than in pain. Sugar is a trigger for many people, but I have to consume a huge amount before it gives me a headache; same with caffeine. Alcohol, on the other hand, give me pain within an hour or two of my first cocktail. No big deal, since I've never been a big drinker. Some of the other common food triggers are chocolate, cheese (hard or fermented), processed meats, and gluten. To the best of my knowledge, none of these are triggers for me. Good thing, too, because I don't want to give up chocolate. Life is hard enough. Other triggers include weather changes, bright lights or loud noises, perfumes, lack of sleep, stress, missing meals, dehydration, hormonal changes, and crying. Yep, one reason I avoid the cosmetics counter at department stores. Those perfume samples are killers. Same as the laundry detergent aisle in the grocery store. First I sneeze, then I get a headache. No fun.

Here's what really came as a surprise to me, however. In an article called 'What's Your Strangest Migraine Symptom?' I learned that several things that have been happening to me for years are likely migraine-related. And here, I thought I was just crazy. Or had a brain tumor.

One of these symptoms, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, is a disorder that causes a person to believe that body parts (and in some cases their environment), are changing shape or size. For me, it usually means that I feel as if one hand is growing larger and larger, as if it's a huge clown glove, filled with air. It never lasted very long, but felt as if it did. Once, when a migraine was so bad I had to go to the ER for treatment, this happened after they gave me the fun shot; that time, I felt as if my ears were getting bigger and bigger.

The first time I remember this happening I was eleven-years-old. I had been reading in the afternoon during summer break, and suddenly, my right thumb began to grow. It didn't last long, or get very big, and I don't remember if a headache followed it, but I do remember being totally freaked out. Until recently, I never told anyone about it.

When I was in junior high, I read Stephen King's 'The Dead Zone' for the first time, and one thing from that book has stuck with me ever since. The neurologist asks Johnny if he ever smells anything unusual, like rotting oranges, or feces, when there is nothing there; apparently this  a sign of a brain tumor. Well, it turns out these types of sensory hallucinations are also a migraine symptom, one I've had often. I was pretty sure I didn't have a brain tumor, because I've had my fair share of MRI's & CT scans, thanks to the epilepsy, but thanks to Mr. King, I was always scared. Now, I don't need to.

I do wish that one of the neurologists I've seen over the years had pointed some of this stuff out. I'm especially cheesed that the migraine specialist I've been seeing for the last year never mentioned any of this. I appreciate that there are all these online communities, but shouldn't a doctor have said something?!

I'm sure there's a word for how I feel.

The Stupid Burns

Ugh.

It's been a rough week. I went to see a new primary care doctor just over a week ago, and really liked him. He addressed the issues that the doctor I was leaving refused to look at-- insomnia & RLS-- and was nice on the eyes. Plus, he did not once tell me I'd sleep better if I got more exercise, or tell me I need to lose weight. He gave me some new meds, and increased the dosage on my RLS med. I was happy.

The problems began the next day. I wasn't sure if I'd picked up a stomach bug, or if I was having a reaction to on of the meds, but I felt horrible. Stomach cramps, pain, the whole nine yards. By Thursday, I was begging my sister to kill me, but she refused, damn her.

Over the weekend, I went back to the lower dose of the RLS meds, and suddenly *** angels singing *** I was better! Last night, I took the higher dose, and this morning, I'm dying again. UGH.

So, I've now spent all this time being absolutely miserable for no reason whatsoever. Could have fixed it at any time. Not only am I in pain, but I'm too stupid to figure out why.



 

Random Middle of the Night Post

I woke up Thursday morning and, for the first time in weeks, I wasn't in pain. Well, the small aches and pains that are always here were still there, but the massive pain that has had my neck and shoulders in it's grip was gone. I honestly did not know what to do! Most people - normal people - would have used their day to actually do something, but that's not how I roll. I spent my pain-free day curled up in my chair, reading. Same as always.  At least now I know that the pain can be alleviated; the day before, my sister Jolene had massaged my shoulders for a bit, nearly bringing me to tears, and then she sent me to bed with the heating pad. It worked (thanks, Butch!), and I can only wonder what a session from an actual  masseuse would do for me! Checking out deals on Groupon ASAP...

Things are stalled a bit, partially because of money, partially because I've been feeling so lousy, and partially because I just put stuff off. Big surprise. It amazes me that I once had a busy life, a full -time job, a home of my own, even a social life, and managed it all! Right now I am just proud that I've been able to keep my room clean for two weeks in a row; managing more than that is scary. However, I am working on doing more, both here, in the house (which is actually harder than going outside) and out. Still haven't started my yoga class, but that is next, as is following through on my promise to Jolene to help with dinner twice a week. I can do this, right?

What I cannot do is get Miss Google to be nice to the new kitten. They antagonize each other, and every time Honey comes too close, Miss G goes on full alert, hissing and growling. She's even swatted Honey a time or two, but the kitten doesn't care. She's either a masochist, or she really really wants to be friends, because she keeps coming into Miss G's territory, getting in her face. At this rate, I may have to call in the cat whisperer.

 

 

Call Me Clumsy

I am a clumsy girl. Always have been. I manage to hurt myself doing things most people do without any problems, like sitting, standing, and even eating. I run into furniture, walls get in my way, I trip over my own feet, and I am the only person I've ever met who can be standing perfectly still, and fall over. An ankle will just twist, and suddenly I'm sprawled on the ground, in pain and looking stupid. I've managed to bruise every single part of my body at some point, and this does not count the injuries I've sustained during seizures.

As I write this, I have bruises on my right arm, hip and leg, as well as my chin. Friday night, in the act of standing up--something most people do without injury-- I skidded across the wooden floor of my bedroom when that ankle twisted, landing on a stack of cardboard boxes in the corner. With my face. It was a bit softer than where the rest of me landed,  the floor and wall. I swore like a sailor, and spent the rest of the evening with am ice pack on my face. By Saturday morning, my face was fine, but my leg hurt so badly I spent the day with it iced. My right wrist is still killing me; that's the wrist I've broken twice, and it hurts all the time!

My dream is to go an entire week without a new bruise or injury. To not look as if I've been the victim of a bad beating, or car accident. Until then, I will keep buying arnica, and  make sure I always have ice packs and ace bandages around!

Related articles

• How to Strengthen Your Ankles (houstonfootspecialists.blogspot.com)


• How Much Is It Too Much? (alexeelise.wordpress.com)


• Being a Clumsy Girl is Not Cool (bryonysbrainwrites.wordpress.com)


• I'm a clumsy guy (brandedzak.wordpress.com)

Fifty Shades of Me

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The Dog is Trying to Kill Me

I'm typing slowly today (not that I was such a whiz before) because my entire right arm is in pain after our dog tried to kill me last week. (I should point out here that I am right-handed, and if I'd had the leash in my left-hand, this wouldn't be a problem.)

Kaylee is a 14-month-old Golden Retriever, very affectionate, enthusiastic, and way too full of energy. Last Thursday we were going to run some errands. I was walking Kaylee through the parking lot to the car when she spotted her favorite person in the world, Mike. Immediately, she dashed in his direction, yanking me along with her. What followed would have been a big hit on YouTube, had anyone been filming. I flew off my feet, into the air, and hit the wet, dirty pavement, face down, bruising my knees, & skinning my palms as I landed. The leash was jerked from my hand, and my right shoulder was felt as if it had been pulled out of the socket!

I hadn't realized there were that many people outside, but instantly there were at least 7 neighbors around me, as well as Steven & Mike, all asking if I was okay, and exclaiming over what had happened. "Did you see how she flew? I've never seen a dog do that to a grown-up before!" I heard someone say.

As I cradled my arm against my chest, and headed back inside to change my now wet & dirty clothes, I reminded Mike "Do NOT give that dog any treats!!" Because this, of course, is why she loves him more that anyone else. Mike is the maintenance guy for our apartment complex, and in his storage room, keeps bags of expensive treats for all the dogs that he hands out like candy!

All the dogs adore him.

Later that evening Steven took me to the ER, where they told me I had an Acute Shoulder Strain, gave me some exercises & pain meds. Since then, I can't lift more than I medium-sized book, and even that is sometimes painful. It's hard to write; I can't lift my hand above my head. Ouch.

If that was all, I wouldn't wonder about the dog, but I'm starting to wonder. A month ago, she pulled so hard on the leash I fell down the stairs, and then a week later, she jumped on me when I was on a stepladder, knocking me off. If I see a shadow on the shower curtain, and hear the theme song from "Psycho," I'm gonna know it's her! I think she's out to get me just because I won't let her sleep on the bed. With me out of the way, she'll have Steven all to herself, and can sleep anywhere she wants--sofa, bed, kitchen sink! Nobody will complain "That dog needs a bath!" or that she has toys all over the place.

So if I suddenly end up dead in an odd dog-related accident, you will all know it was no accident! Make sure the dog is prosecuted to the full extent of the law--and do NOT let her sleep on my bed!!

Read This Book!

I've spent the last two weeks obsessed with Jennette Fulda. I began by reading an excerpt of her newest book, Chocolate and Vicodin:My Quest For Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away, and then searched out her first book, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir at the library. This led me to the blog she's known for, http://pastaqueen.com/blog/. It's been difficult to tear myself away. 

Jennette, at her heaviest, weighed nearly 400 pounds, and by changing her eating habits & exercise, she lost half her body weight! I loved reading her stories of this change, partially because she's honest, and not one bit self-righteous, but mostly because she's just plain funny. I laughed out loud (lol) when she says "I felt confident enough to sign up for a 5K race. The former fat-girl bylaws dictate that you must run a 5K or you will be forced to gain back all the weight." Seems that every formerly fat-girl I know is now running 5k's and I think perhaps that's why I'm still fat. I don't want to run.

Jennette's second book, Chocolate and Vicodin is in stores now. It's the story of the headache that wouldn't go away. In February 2008, she got a headache, and has been searching for a cure ever since. Chronic pain is nothing to laugh at, yet she manages to make it funny; the woman has a gift.

Now, I haven't had a chance to read the book yet; it was just released last month, and I am too broke to purchase it. (It is on hold at the library, and my birthday is coming up, so..) I have read a couple of excerpts and the blog, and I must say, I am feeling very in sync with Jennette.

In the search of a cure for never-ending headache pain, she's given a number of medications, and I have personal knowledge of several of these. The section of her blog that put my feelings into words is quoted below.

"To complicate things further, although the Topamax was making it easier to eat less, it was also making me stupid. It’s nicknamed “Stupamax” and “Dopamax.” It made it harder to speak right, like someone had placed the English language on the top shelf where it was just out of my reach. I could still see it, but I had to stand on my tippy toes to grab words, and even then I was just knocking them over instead of grabbing them firmly. I just felt…dumb. I found myself unable to focus as well. It put a damper on my mood. The crazy switch was turned off, but the stupid switch was turned on."

- http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2008/07/why-diet-pills-are-not-the-answer-unless-they-cure-your-headache/ July11, 2008

I took Topamax for nearly 4 years, as an anti-seizure medication, and hoo-boy, do I remember that feeling. When I couldn't find the words I wanted I used to say my brain was skipping, like a scratched record. My neurologist would test me to see how my verbal skills were, and eventually, as they deteriorated, and the Topamax wasn't controlling the seizures, we switched meds. Right now I'm on a very low dose of it again, to help with chronic headaches (ugh), and I'm skipping every so often. But it is helping me lose weight.

Jennette Fulda writes in a real & humorous manner about things that are happening in her life. It's feels like talking to a friend. I think this is why I've been unable to tear myself away from her blog archives for the last two weeks--I was getting to know my new friend! She's smart, snarky, strong and talented. Read her books! I promise you won't be disappointed.

Insomnia

I really should be in bed. Instead I'm sitting in the living room, watching 'The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson' and writing. I haven't been sleeping well lately. So, I apologize if I begin to ramble. Sleep deprivation will do that to you!

Insomnia isn't a new thing for me--it started way back at the dawn of time, when I was in high school. Always the same pattern. I fall asleep easily enough, and sleep well for a few hours. Then, usually about 2:30 a.m., I wake up, needing to pee, and after that, I'm awake for hours.

Sometimes I'll be able to fall back asleep for an hour or two, but my twitchy feet usually watch me back up.

Oh, yeah, did I mention I have RLS? Restless Leg Syndrome. It's a pain is the ass (or rather, legs) neurological condition that causes a tickling feeling in the legs or in my case, the bottoms of my feet. It makes my legs jerk so hard sometimes that I kick like a horse! Nobody is really sure what causes it, but we do know that many things make it worse; among these are the anti-seizure medication that I'm on. Yep. Finally found a med which will control my seizures (whoo-hoo!), and it makes my feet go crazy, causing an increase in insomnia. Wouldn't you know, lack of sleep is a BIG trigger for me & seizures...

Anyway.

I've tried all sorts of insomnia remedies: medication, bedtime yoga, Sleepytime tea, self-hypnosis, melatonin & Valerian, and a white noise machine. Not many have been successful for long. I've heard all the advice, and have tried most of it, to little avail. I simply don't sleep.

I've also tried many many remedies for RLS, most of them home remedies found online. So far none have worked for long. I've taken magnesium citrate before bed; I've rubbed my legs & lower back down with apple cider vinegar; I've done a series of strange exercises in the dark. The thing that worked the best was eliminating caffeine & sugar from my diet, which I did to get rid of migraines. Discovered it helped the feet. Of course, now I'm back on the coffee wagon, (or did I fall off the wagon?), so I may have to fix that... I do know there are a couple of medications available for RLS, but so far, I haven't tried them. Didn't want to add one more med to my already large collection. If things don't improve, I may change my mind.

There was a time when I'd get out of bed and clean my apartment in the middle of the night, but those days are gone. (We have neighbors here who are very sensitive to noise, and even running water after ten seems to annoy them, so no more scrubbing the bathroom or rearranging kitchen cabinets!) Some nights I turn on my bedside lamp, pick up my book and read; other night I get online and discover strange new blogs. Most nights I simply lie in the dark, listening to the fake ocean sounds from the white noise machine, trying to count backward from one hundred, as I take deep, even breaths, and hope I'll relax enough to to fall asleep again.

Tonight I'm going to finish watching Craig Ferguson, then stay up as late as I can, in hopes that I can reset my inner alarm clock a little, or at least throw it off balance. And then, with any luck, I'll get some sleep, dammit!

Lemons and Lessons

I have to say, I'm not sorry 2010 is over. In many ways, that year sucked, big time.

I spent most of the year in pain with migraines, and various other things. As well, money was nearly non-existent, after Steven was injured at work, and then lost his job. By the end of the year, we had to move from our two-bedroom apartment into a much smaller one-bedroom, along with all our stuff, and the three animals. Instead of saving us money, we ended up owing our landlord for fees.

It seemed as if every time I turned around, 2010 was bitch-slapping me with another bit of bad news. I dreaded turning on the news, for fear I'd hear of another oil spill, hurricane or tornado, or god-forbid, a massive lay-off somewhere! Everyone I know has struggled through, either battling health issues, financial problems, or both. An optimists nightmare. I'm a glass half-full girl, but it was difficult to keep the glass from shattering during 2010.

But. (Yes, there is always a "but")

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

Which means that in even though many things were awful, there were also many learning moments. I've learned that even when I have pain, I don't have to be one. (I can thank Sarah Palin & Kate Gosselin for that lesson, in part. Never thought I'd be thanking them for anything!)

I've learned that if you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. For me, that means if I want to accomplish anything, I have to get dressed, not spend the day in my pajamas, and actually leave the apartment. They say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we do it daily. My sister's advice about building a habit in fourteen days was one of the best things I learned all year! (Thanks, Jolene!)

There were also many good moments in 2010, and I would be wrong if I neglected to mention them. After almost a decade apart, my best friend, Michele and I were finally in the same place at the same time, and our visit was AWESOME! She's been battling breast cancer up there in the frozen north, and I've been missing her down here, so just being together in our home town, with her entire family, her wonderful kids & husband, was the highlight of my year. For a while I was able to forget everything else and just be happy. We talked, laughed, ate, shopped, cried, ate, laughed, giggled, and sang old Barry Manilow songs. We even stood in front of the mirror & did each other's hair, just like the old days! Sharing the beauty of western Colorado with Steven was fabulous, too!

My nephew Max started first grade, was in three plays this year, and as far as he's concerned, he was the star of each! Max and Steven have become good friends, and every time I hear Maxie call out "Uncle Steven!" in that joyous voice, my heart lifts!

Max's big sister, Hattie Jo, turned 17 this year, and is amazing! Hattie is the girl I'd want if I had a daughter--she's smart, funny, polite, and talented, beautiful. She's a lot like me. Hattie has been my friend since she was born, and I love watching her grow into such an incredible woman.

Anyway. I'm rambling. This rough year has helped me to see how important my loved ones are. Memories and moments. Lessons and...something else that starts with an "s"...lemons?

Sure. Lessons and lemons. Because when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And add some vodka. Then you have a party!!

I don't make resolutions anymore-- I learned a long time ago that I break those quicker than I break eggs for breakfast. I do set goals, and I'd like to share a few of them with you.

In 2011:

Re-read one favorite book a month, and write about it.

Make a scrapbook for my nephew Max.

Write a blog post twice a week.

Practice yoga daily.

Learn Vancouver's bus system.

Volunteer.

Read more; watch television less.

Exercise more.

Express my gratitude daily.

So there you have it. My goals for 2011. I'm hoping this bright, shiny new year will be a better one for all of us, with little fear of shattering glass, or throwing those lemons at anybody's head! Happy New Year, everyone!

Suck It Up, Buttercup!

In a post titled Wisdom of Fat, I swore that I'd get myself off the sofa and onto the treadmill. I wanted to break my lifelong habit of laziness & bad health with some daily exercise, other than the walk between bookshelf & fridge! When I made this promise, I was determined to change things, and yet, nothing has changed.

The last few months I've complained a bunch about being in pain: I've had almost daily headaches, body aches, and toothaches. As usual, I've let this derail me from almost everything I've wanted to do. NO MORE!

In my lifetime I've probably made this kind of promise as many times as an alcoholic says they'll give up drinking. Nearly every day I say to someone "I'm going to start exercising (insert time here). " And I always mean it. But something always stops me: something big, like a seizure, which can knock me out for days; or something small, like a headache, or wanting to finish watching an episode of Seinfeld. Valid or not, I'm through making excuses.

My BFF, Shel, has spent the last 2 years fighting breast cancer, and I need to take her advice:

"Suck it up, Buttercup!"

Yes, I'm sure I'm still going to have pain. Big deal. If Shel can get through it, so can I. We buttercups are pretty tough, after all!